What is Mental Health?

Honestly, I think that mental health is something that everyone is impacted by. If you disagree, then you may have a narcissistic view of yourself because no one is perfect.

The stigma that mental health has had for so long has normalized so many toxic cycles and patterns that are now seen throughout society today. Everyone has a story of untold cycles of abuse and trauma (e.g. financial, sexual, physical, emotional, PTSD/triggers, ect). But every cycle has the same structural pattern - aka the same pattern of violence. They are as follows: the building of tension, the abuse incident, the reconciliation, and a period of calm.

Really though, because we don't know where it will spark up again, even the period of calm has a layer of tension lurking around. Tension is painful too. Like, physically hurting your body - it makes your body tense, tired, and can carry long-term damage.

That is one of the main reasons I think yoga should be more normalized.

I carried tension for years just waiting for the cancer to grow back. Because it always did and that is something that never really changes for me. The things that I can control are my happiness, my finances, and what are within my limits to help the world around me.

I had to learn to let a lot of things go.

I mean, life moves fast so will it really matter five years from now?

Also, good therapists will check-in on you if you don't come, but will not shame you if you ghost them. Client's do that all the time to me at work and I never take it personally - especially since they are already in permanent crisis from being homeless (another cycles of violence/trauma). Therapists should be this way as well.

I think that the cycle of violence that is talked about the least is what I call the "cycle of silence".

It's a twist of the "Spiral of Silence", a theory composed by the German political scientist Elisabeth Noelle-Neumann. The theory of the Spiral of Silence is when one opinion becomes entirely socially dominant because those people who have different opinions are afraid to speak or act on them. The person "not isolating themselves is more important than his own judgement". This is a self-expressive act that can change the "global environment of opinion", shifting the perceptions of others and the willingness of individuals to express their own opinions (1).

Your opinions are worth expressing, even if you feel like no one is listening to you. Especially when you feel like no one is listening to you. Your opinions are shaped by your personal experiences, they are twisted into who you are. They also have the ability to change and grow, along with you.

This is also why I think that therapy works. It gives you space to talk through all of your feelings, out loud and in a completely judgement-free zone. All while feeling heard and respected - regardless of what you say.

If you have a great therapist, they will ask you the hard questions so that you can go and do the hard work.

It's worth finding the time to find your great therapist who will help you hold yourself, and the others around you, accountable.

Mine is pretty dope. It's helped me commit to going in a way my other therapists didn't. She, and life, has taught me that the better I am at respecting the boundaries of the people around me. Then the better I am at holding my own.

In my opinion, that's why it's worth taking the time to see if yours is a good fit and then moving on if it's not. Boundaries are learned along the way.

When did it get normalized that we shouldn't ask for help? When did it get normalized to put secrets over people?

When is it ever worth it when we do?

1. (1977), "Turbulences in the climate of opinion: Methodological applications of the spiral of silence theory", Public Opinion Quarterly, 41 (2): 143–158, doi:https://doi.org/10.1086%2F268371.