What is Community?

The last two years have been a wild ride, a certified shit show, in more ways then I can count. In my life it has impacted my personal relationships, professional relationships, finances, mental health, physical health, and my ability to self-cope. In a tale as old as time-I have found I can't trust people that I thought would always have my back, have found family in the most unexpected places, and am fighting the daily fight to "claim my worth" against imposter syndrome.

Community to me was always assumed growing up. I grew up in small towns, so it always felt like you were expected to be friends with everyone you grew up with for the rest of your life. As someone who experienced four different schools over twelve years, it was also something that I never really discovered for myself but saw everywhere around me. And, because of social media, it is something that I still see. I do not say this to gain pity, it is now just simply something that is observed because it has allowed me to identify the disconnect that I used to feel whenever I applied the word community to my life.

What I have learned from this about Community is the following: Community should never be assumed because that is how you get stuck in toxic traditions. Community is who you build around you. Community is earned- often through fire, laughter, and an unwillingness to walk away (unless you have done your best and the effort is not matched/boundaries are dismissed in any way).

Something that I have started to see more, specifically as I learn about the different lenses that life offers, is we disrespect ourselves and our community, by conforming to ideals purely based on it "always being that way". We have this indoctrination that we aren't even aware we are groomed into. Pressures to uphold these "American values" and to "stand united" against predetermined scary people/things/ideas that threaten these "traditions" and "ways of life". Personally, I say fuck that propaganda to the moon and back.

How can we grow and evolve if we aren't willing to question things? How will we ever learn about, or God forbid embrace, new things that are based on our differences? My answer: we can't.

My biggest lesson from the past two years is that actively loving others around you is the true revolution. Loving them with Agape Love, like Jesus loved us; shamelessly, fearlessly, and full of joy- regardless how we come to Him. This is what we are called to do-especially if it may be "different", looked down upon, or against our own immediate interests.

The following is my lifetime Bible verse:

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world,. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the Light of Life." -John 8:12

My hope has always been cemented in the promise that this verse provides and, as I look back over my life, I have lost count of how many times it has been fulfilled. This hope that the Holy Spirit provides is so subtle that you almost miss it. Lately, it feels easier to miss because there is so much weight and darkness around us right now that has amplified our feelings of loneliness- no matter who or what you believe in.

It has been harder to remember that we have the Holy Trinity in our back pocket and that these feelings don't have to be accepted either.

I really don't believe that I am alone in wanting to run towards some Light for my life. I am not the only person perpetually exhausted, hopeful, confused, empowered, and angry because of the inaction of powerful people we are groomed give the benefit of the doubt. I won't settle and accept that life has to be this way-that these generational and community traumas aren't worth the massive - and collective - efforts that are needed to heal.

Maybe this is my way of screaming into the void, but it makes me feel less alone when I see others screaming too. We, as a community, deserve more then we allow ourselves to have. We are allowed to claim our worth, be secure in our identity, and fight back against societal expectations. What is stopping you?