What are Regrets?

Regret is heavy to carry around. You either live in the past wishing you could change just "one thing". Or you can live in the future and worry that you will do the "wrong" thing. It's tricky because even though it's heavy, it's easy to assimilate into your daily norm.

I recently watched the movie "Vengeance" and one of the characters talked about it. How in life "everything starts with regret and ends with regret". As you run away from one regret, then you just jump into the next one - and that was life. Over and over.

When you accept something as "part of life", then you are accepting the cycles that come with it. When regret is part of your cycles, then that is when it becomes a choice.

Everything has cycles. Our bodies, the seasons, our choices, and more. Therapy is important because we forget that our choices are, in fact, choices.

Questioning why you believe in things and why you make decisions is a good thing. We need to do it. That's how you break the cycles of regret, shame, and abuse (both towards self and others).

So many things we grow up with, and around, we just accept. I mean, why question what works? It's usually easier to keep doing things that same way anyway.

It's hard to unlearn things you have normalized or question what has worked. It's hard to hold important people in your life to new boundaries. It's hard to be selfish and learn to put yourself first. All these things are exhausting to do when society is filled with distractions and geared to keep us busy.

But it also means we have to do these things if we love ourselves and honor who we were created to be. We all have gifts and talents that make us special. This is one of my core truths.

You just have to take the time and do the work to find out what yours are. Don't let mistakes stop you - they are usually the best things to laugh at later.

We are created for more then what the world, our communities, and our current culture tells us to be. Don't get me wrong, these shape who we are, but I think you lose sight of who you are when you let them define you.

Personally, I don't want to regret missing what is happening in front of me with the people who are important to me. Life happens fast so we miss so much when we aren't living in the moment.

I have found it is just easier to just make the best decision you can, both for yourself and your community, in that moment and then keep moving forward.

If what you did unintentionally hurt someone, then use it as a learning moment paired with an apology and the the commitment to grow.

That's really all you really can do anyway.